More than Friends? The beginning
by Emily111
Summary: A story about Matt and Emily's transaction from being friends to something more.Note: chapter 11 up now, rating for that chapter is M hope you all like it
1. Chapter 1

More than friends? - A fanfic about the start of Emily's and Matt's relationship.

She was so exhausted she could have fallen asleep right there at her desk. The mountains of paperwork would surely make a nice pillow.

It was 10pm and the negotiation team had only just gotten back from a hostage situation that had lasted since 7am that morning.

The day had actually started out great. She had woken up before her alarm clock had the chance to jolt her out of bed. Slowly coming around she had stayed in bed for a little while listening to the birds outside loudly announcing that spring had finally arrived. The sun shining brightly through the window was touching her cheek with a gentle stroke.

She had felt so content and while she got ready for work and drove across town, she thought about how perfect her life was. She had a great apartment, just big enough for her and with lots of light coming in from the big windows. She had nice furniture, which might not have cost a fortune but suited her just fine and on her dresser, on bookshelves and anywhere with a little place to spare she had a few picture frames with photos of family and friends, or memories from trips abroad or flowers in a vase she had inherited from her beloved grandmother. It definitely felt like home.

Her family had always been very important to her. She had grown up in a big family. Her grandparents, uncles and aunts and cousins had always dropped by all the time and they had all enjoyed each others company and helped each other whatever the problem. She might not see her family as much anymore, after moving to L.A., but she still talked to them on the phone quite often.

Most of all, she was happy with her job. It was a dream job for her, she couldn't believe her luck when she had been offered the position as FBI Special Agent Crisis Negotiator. It hadn't even mattered that she had to move all the way to the other side of the country. It was a huge step, she admitted that, but she could use the change and who could say no to a dream job with the bonus of living in sunny California.

Sitting at her desk hours later she tried to get that feeling of utter happiness back. How could one day completely change the way you felt about your situation? She guessed it might have something to do with the exhausting negotiations they had been through that day. A man had taken his family hostage after finding out that his wife was cheating on him. He had been furious and the fact that he had been quite drunk didn't help the situation. The negotiators had been able to see everything that happened through huge glass doors and the agonizing sight of the son and daughter scared to death of the father they loved and had trusted until that day, had taken a huge toll on her. But still, that couldn't be the only reason she suddenly felt so low. In the end they had gotten everyone out alive and well – even the father.

…"Hey, Emily, that was damn good work you did today" – Emily looked up and saw Matt walking in the door towards their desks. His smile and compliment made her feel a little better.

…" oh thanks, I know. Maybe I should just handle the negotiations on my own next time, with you not really making a difference anyway" – she said back with a teasing look in her eyes. She new he had been just as big a contributor if not bigger in getting the hostages out, but instead of saying just that, she took the opportunity to give him some grief.

…"uhhhhh, WHAT!???" – Matt let out a sound of disbelief before realising that she was joking.

She couldn't stop laughing at the look on his face, tired or not he usually wasn't that easy to catch off guard.

"You! You! – Lehman!, you just wait, I'll get you back for that comment" – he sputtered while trying to look hurt and angry. He couldn't quite pull it off though and she saw him grinning to himself before turning away from her.

She couldn't believe what a great team they made. At first she had been quite nervous being partnered up with THE Matt Flannery who had a great reputation as a negotiator. First of all she had been worried if she could measure up to him and live up to her part of the work. Second, she didn't really know how she would fit in. But she needn't have given it a thought. When they had first been introduced Matt had shaken her hand with a big grin and said:

…" oh so you're the Princess from Princeton! Nice to meet you, I'm sure we'll get on just fine…as long as you get me my coffee in the morning, do all the paperwork and in general just make my life much easier"

Usually she would have been furious with the "Princess" comment, but his teasing eyes and big smile made her relax a little. It hadn't been long before she felt right at home working with him and their other colleagues.

Now, a few months later they got on better than fine. They worked perfectly together and had become great friends.

Coming back from her far away thoughts she noticed Matt looking at her with a slightly concerned expression on his face.

…" you ok Lehman? Why don't you go home? I'm on my way too, we'll finish off the report tomorrow." – Matt said while putting away the file with today's case.

She sighed and looked at him with a grateful, but tired smile.

…"Well, I won't say no to that" – she said getting up and grapping her bag from under the table.

They walked out in silence. She was thinking about hostages and families getting through difficult times together and wasn't really paying attention when she and Matt reached out for the elevator button at the same time. When their hands touched hey both pulled away much too quickly and none of them actually pushed the button. She felt her cheeks turn red and looked away from Matt. Why did she react like this? So their hands had touched? It wasn't like it hadn't happened before. She looked up at Matt and saw him looking at her slightly confused but also bemused at the situation. He reached out again and pushed the button.

They rode down in the elevator in awkward silence. When they reached the car park Matt cleared his throat.

…"uhhhmmm, so I guess we'll see eachother tomorrow?" – He said with an almost shaky voice very unlike him.

Ofcourse they would see eachother tomorrow, why not?, she thought, and started to say so, but Matt had already gotten in his car. What the heck just happened? She couldn't get her head around it. She was too tired to think about it anyway. She drove home trying to ignore the thoughts flying around in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

More than friends? Chapter 2.

The next day she woke up with a funny feeling in her stomach. She hadn't slept well, tossing and turning all night. She new it was stupid, but she couldn't stop thinking about how she'd reacted with Matt at the elevator. It was nothing, she tried to convince herself, but didn't quite succeed. What was going on? They had a perfect working relationship. Yes, they did go out to Sloan's sometimes, but that was always the whole team together. She didn't want to ruin anything by having an office romance. Listening to her own mind wandering, she could have kicked herself. Office romance? Their hands had touched briefly and now she was already thinking of a ROMANCE? It hadn't meant anything. It COULDN'T mean anything!

An hour later she arrived at CNU, took the elevator up and walked in to the big open office. Cheryl, Frank and Matt were talking and when she walked in Matt looked up and gave her his usual big smile. She felt so relieved, she got distracted for a moment and almost tripped over a chair. That smile was how Matt always greeted her in the morning. Grinning from ear to ear ready to crack a joke or tease her about something. Thank god! – maybe everything was alright and he wasn't going to bring up the "incident" last night.

They had a busy day and thankfully she was kept busy and distracted from thinking too much about Matt.

It wasn't until late that afternoon, when she was confronted by Lia, that it all came back.

…"You've been very quiet today. Are you alright, Emily?" – Lia asked, her head tilted to one side and her eyebrows giving her a worried expression.

Lia had become a great friend. When Emily started working at CNU, Lia had helped her get into things and had been really nice to her. They saw eachother outside the office too. Their favourite passtime was a girly video night, where they usually missed the plot of the film completely because they were talking about past boyfriends, their home towns and life in general. It only took Emily a moment before she decided to confide in her. She needed to talk to someone. Everyone else had gone home so they wouldn't be disturbed.

…"well…" – she started, looking down. – "something happened last night…With Matt"

It wasn't easy saying it. She didn't really know what actually happened and she didn't want to sound stupid. But Lia looked at her patiently as if saying "Go on, I'm listening".

Emily pulled herself together and continued.

…"This is gonna sound really stupid. I mean, it's probably nothing…"

She paused for a moment before going on.

…"when Matt and I left last night…"

How was she going to say this so it made sense?

..."Well, we were standing by the elevator and we both went to push the button when we accidentally touched eachother"

She looked up and saw Lia smiling at her, nodding.

…"Yes, and?" – Lia said, not really understanding the problem.

Frustrated, Emily got up from her chair and started pacing.

…"AND!?" – she said, her voice in a high pitch. – "I don't know how to feel about it. I'm so confused. I have never thought of Matt as anything but a work partner and friend, but…" She paused and took a deep breath.

…"I felt SOMETHING and now I just don't know what to do about it. I should probably just leave it alone, Matt didn't even comment on it today, so it obviously didn't mean anything to him."

Now Lia was laughing.

…"Oh Emily, you are a bit stupid sometimes" – Lia said shaking her head and smiling. – "Maybe you haven't noticed, but Matt is crazy about you. Don't think I haven't noticed how he looks at you"

Emily was speechless. Crazy about her? No, he couldn't be, she would have noticed. She knew they had great chemistry, but it was strictly platonic.

Lia was looking at her bewildered expression trying not to laugh too much. Then she sighed and said:

…"Come on, Em. Don't worry so much. Take it as it comes, you deserve a great guy in your life, and Matt is certainly a great guy" – she looked pensive for a moment and added. "not my type though, so he's all yours"

Emily couldn't help laughing at that last comment. She shook her head, smiling. Lia was the best. No one could bring things into perspective like Lia. She always looked on the bright side and talking to her had definitely made Emily feel much better.

"Lets go get dinner", Lia said, "And talk some more about this crush of yours" Her face lit up in delight of the possibility of some romance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews ;) I'm glad to hear you like it. If anyone has any suggestions for improving my writing I would be very greatful. Would also really like to hear if there are certain paragraphs you like more than others or if anything is "off" ;)**

More than friends? – chapter 3

It had been good to her getting a break from everything, just chatting lightly with Lia over a nice meal. There was nothing like a relaxing evening out to take her mind off things, she had needed that.

As usual the two beautiful girls had turned quite a few heads when they'd walked into the hip restaurant. Lia, with her blond hair in a simple ponytail had looked so stunning in a still effortless way. Her perfectly fitted jeans and black top were very simple but the accessories, a wide turquoise belt closed with a buckle of tiny studded stones and the butterfly pendant in a necklace just above her cleavage had transformed the outfit. The way she carried herself, with poise and attitude didn't go unnoticed either. Emily almost felt a little bland in comparison. Her black trousers and white shirt suddenly made her feel underdressed. It was only because she did notice that she was getting some looks too, that made her feel just a bit attractive.

After a great night out, she took a taxi home and relaxed for a while in front of the TV. She had a glass of wine and tried to watch a documentary about forensic scientists that would usually have interested her. She couldn't really concentrate though. The quiet of her apartment made it hard for her to stop her thoughts from wandering back to Matt. Why did this happen now? She didn't need this to stir up her life. Still, she couldn't help feel somewhat excited. She suddenly felt a shiver and a tingling feeling running through her body. It was such a physical reaction she surprised herself.

For a moment she let her mind run free and thought about Matt in ways she never had before. If she let herself be completely honest, she new they had a great chemistry. There was no denying it.

She got up from the couch, turned off the TV and went into her bedroom. She suddenly couldn't stop smiling to herself. As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep she felt both brave and hopeful, but also scared out of her mind.

The next week went by as normal. There were no awkward moments and Matt behaved like his usual cheery self. They had some touch negotiations, but Emily and Matt worked in perfect harmony. Sometimes Emily caught herself staring at Matt when he wasn't looking. Then she would blush slightly and quickly look away laughing silently at herself. These stolen looks though also made her hesitant and uncertain. Was it worth risking their jobs, their friendship? Did he even feel any attraction to her? The thought of putting her heart out there was terrifying. She was back in high school, the shy nerdy girl who didn't have the confidence to ask a boy out. She remembered Lia's words about Matt being crazy about her, but if that was true why hadn't he made a move?

One afternoon they were called out to a hostage situation, where a man was holding a young couple at gunpoint in a small diner. The people working there and the other guests had been allowed to go early in the negotiations. It had been almost too easy. The team was worried, they knew it had to be something personal between the HT and the hostages. It went on hour after hour long into the night without any progress. Both Matt and Emily had tried getting through to him but nothing helped.

The HT was getting more and more frantic, there was no way of knowing his next move. As Frank's team was getting ready too move in it all ended in catastrophe. The HT opened fire shooting the hostages before turning the gun at himself.

Everyone watched in horror and disbelief. The whole situation had gone wrong from the beginning not leaving much hope, but they had all wished for a miracle.

They couldn't save everyone, they knew that, but they couldn't help feel like failures anyway.

Emily felt completely shocked afterwards. She had lost people in negotiations before, but this one had made her feel so useless and frustrated, even guilty. They must have done something wrong she thought to herself. Why hadn't they been able to get through to the HT? Maybe they should have taken him out before, but Matt and especially herself had been adamant in trying to make a connection. It was all her fault.

Matt was watching Emily from a distance, seeing the emotions in her distressed expression. He watched her as she walked around in circles with no destination, running her fingers through her hair. He could feel the battle going on inside her head.. He was on his way over to her, but before he got there he saw her say something to Cheryl and drive off. It pained him to realise that for once Emily hadn't come to him. They always talked it through after negotiations, especially when they didn't go as they had hoped. He quickly shouted to Cheryl that he was going back to CNU and hurried towards his car. He just hoped that Emily was actually going to CNU, but knowing her, she wouldn't go anywhere else when they still had work to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's a couple more chapters - let me know if you want the rest of the story :P Would love some reviews/comments before posting more - pleeeeeease.**

More than friends? – chapter 4

The drive through Los Angeles seemed to take forever. The roads were filled with cars, not that it surprised him, traffic was always horrible in L.A., but he had no patience at that moment. There was a knot in his stomach, a new feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on. He was worried about Emily, he knew that, but there was something else too.

At the same moment as Matt pulled into the car park at CNU, Emily was sitting at her desk 20 stories up, lost in her own thoughts, her elbows resting on the table with her face hidden in her hands. She hadn't heard Matt come in, out of the blue he turned up in front of her with a determined look on his face. He almost looked angry.

…" Emily, can I see you in the conference room for a moment", he said with a firm voice and started walking out to where he wanted her to follow.

Emily just sat there, with her mouth open totally surprised and confused as to why Matt had gone off at her like that. A moment after her confusion turned to anger instead and she got up so fast she almost knocked over her chair. Storming after Matt she was fuming. This wasn't what she needed just now.

Throwing open the door to the conference room she saw Matt in a state of utter distress. Pacing back and forth working himself into a frenzy. What the hell was wrong with the guy?

…"I'm NOT gonna let you do it", he suddenly said, almost shouting, his eyes piercing hers, "I'm not gonna let you blame yourself for what happened today", the last being said in a much softer voice.

Emily didn't know what to do with herself. Didn't know how to react. It HAD been her fault, to some extent, she was convinced of that. Her shoulders dropping down from the tense position caused by her previous anger she let out a sigh. She couldn't look at Matt, no matter what he said she felt so guilty. Suddenly she felt his hands on her shoulders gently shaking her. He was standing right in front of her trying to get eye contact, but Emily was looking down at her shoes.

…"Emily", he said, his voice failing to hide all the emotions running through him, "Emily, please…please stop torturing yourself. You are one hell of a negotiator, you're the best partner I've ever had. The way you get the hostages on your side, connecting with them in a way I've never really understood. Even after hours of negotiation you keep yourself together. I admire that so much. I admire you."

She slowly looked up, a single tear streaming down her cheek. She was amazed by the speech Matt had just blurted out.

"Matt", she started to say, but was cut off, he wasn't no where near finished yet.

"Let me say this, Emily", he continued, "I need you to know, need you to know how you leave me in pieces. If there's one thing I learned today it's that you need to take your chances while you can. I've wanted to ask you out since the first time I saw you. Well that was until you spoke, phew some way with words you have", he was teasing her now a small smile forming at the corners of his mouth. Turning serious again, he looked so deep into her eyes she thought she would faint.

"Emily", he said again loving the sound of her name," You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're great at your job, you're funny and so god damn beautiful. I feel like I can always talk to you and I trust you with my life.", after pausing slightly his last words were said with a mischievous grin on his face, "Last but not least you're much too sexy for your own good"

Leaning down he kissed her with a force that blew the wind out of them both. His hands slipped behind her back pulling her nearer to him. Emily reached up with her hands behind his neck holding on to him for dear life. None of them wanting to let go, the kiss grew deeper until they were both breathless. After what seemed like an eternity, Matt pulled away slightly looking deep into her eyes. He could lose himself in those eyes, they were like a bottomless lake. The look on her face was full of surprise.

Emily was speechless. She hadn't expected this. But, oh how good it felt. She couldn't believe the things Matt had said to her. Her heart skipped at beat when she saw the look in his eyes. When he gently cupped her face, wiping away the stray tear with his thumb and kissed her again, this time ever so softly. Emily felt her knees go week.

…"Wow", she finally let out in disbelief. The small word said it all.

…"I know", Matt said grinning at her, his forehead resting against hers, "You have no idea how often I've wanted to do that." He tightened his grip around her, liking the feel of her body against him being captured by the scent of her perfume. It smelled like a field of flowers, but also had a spicy edge. Just like her.


	5. Chapter 5

More Than Friends? – chapter 5

The next morning, Emily woke up and looked around her. Where was she? This wasn't her bedroom. The place was dark, brown faded colours everywhere. The only furniture was the bed, a bed side table with an ugly looking lamp and by the window a dresser that looked at least 30 years old – and not in a good way. Slowly she realised where she was. Turning onto her side she looked at Matt fast asleep next to her. He looked so peaceful, his longish brown hair pointing in every direction. She on the other hand didn't feel quite at ease.

They had met up at the hotel last night after work. Getting out of her car, she had noticed Matt standing next to the entrance of the small hotel they had chosen for their encounter because of it's location far away from anyone they knew. He had been leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of him in a slightly arrogant way. His smile had made her blush and look away. It was still a little strange thinking of him as more than a friend. After getting the keys to their room, they walked towards it in silence. It was a little awkward, but as soon as they got in to the room, Matt pulled her towards him and kissed her with a passion she had never felt before with anyone.

The night had been perfect. She had fallen asleep snuggling next to Matt, feeling so good about the way they had finally owned up to their attraction to eachother. But as she lay awake the morning after, she couldn't help being angry with herself. She wasn't one to jump into bed with a man on a first date, and Matt and she hadn't even been on a date. They had shared an amazing kiss, and immediately she had forgotten all about being sensible and had been caught up in the moment.

She had to get out of there. She couldn't face Matt the way she was feeling right now. Slowly she got out of bed and put on her clothes, which had been left in a trail from the door to the bed. She felt guilty for sneaking out without talking to Matt, but she knew that if she first saw his eyes looking into hers or felt his touch bringing fire to her body again, she wouldn't be able to leave.

She managed to keep herself together until she arrived home. Then she burst into tears, falling down on her bed punching the pillows in rage. She was so mad at herself. Suddenly she heard her mobile ringing in her bag somewhere. She had tossed it aside when she came in the door and now she hurried out of her bedroom thinking it was probably Cheryl calling about a hostage situation. The name flashing on the mobile display though made her stop.

…"Matt calling…", it said in bright letters. She didn't answer it.

Across town in the hotel room Matt listened to the continued beep of the call trying to get through. He had no idea what to say to her. Should he be mad at her or worried? He then realised it didn't matter, he just wanted to hear her voice.

When it went to Emily's answering machine, he hung up. He didn't know what to say. He sat down on the bed and tried to figure out what had happened to make her leave. He couldn't.

He had woken up that morning feeling happier and more excited than ever, thinking of the never ending kiss the day before, that had made him want her so much and the incredible night they had shared. Spilling out his feelings to Emily had been the best thing he'd ever done. Slightly confused he had noticed he was alone. Then he had thought she must be in the bathroom taking a shower. He had leapt out of bed with a big grin on his face, ready to join her. Almost falling into the bathroom he had realised that Emily wasn't there, his smile fading. Looking around the room he couldn't see any of her things either. If she had gone out to get breakfast, she would surely have left the canvas bag she had brought with her to the hotel…and left him a note. When the fact had hit him, that she had left him there without a word, it had felt like a bucket of ice water being thrown at him. How could she sneak out like a dirty mistress, after what they'd shared that night?


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews so far - But please, would love some more, 3 is not a lot to go on :(  
This chapter is a little short, but if I suddenly get LOTS of reviews I might just post another hmmmmph :P  
- By the way, just changed the rating, there's nothing yet to justify a "T" and wondered if the high rating is keeping some from reading/reviewing.**

More than friends? - chapter 6

Emily was in such a state she knew that she wouldn't be able to do her job that day. Calling Cheryl she felt guilty. Proving to herself even more, that any relationship with Matt, apart from being work partners was doomed from the beginning. She was already letting her feelings affect her job. She spent the day in front of the TV watching daytime shows. There was something about watching the ridiculous fights on talk shows, that made her feel a bit better. But only a little. Her apartment looked like a mess. She didn't really care though, she just wanted to feel sorry for herself for once.

She must have fallen asleep on the couch, because suddenly she was abruptly woken by the sound her phone ringing. She was relieved to see that it wasn't Matt calling, but Lia.

…"Hi", she answered the phone trying to sound cheery, but failed miserably.

…"Hey you", Lia said back, "are you ok?. Cheryl said you called in sick…", Lia paused for a moment. "To tell you the truth I don't believe you're sick for a second"

Emily wasn't surprised that Lia had called her scam, but she did wonder how her friend could know anything about it. Before she could say anything, Lia continued:

…"Matt has been going out of his mind all day. Don't worry, he wasn't too obvious about it, noone else noticed", Lia assured her knowing that Emily would be worried about their colleagues finding out that something was going on with Matt and her."But I knew something bad had happened when I saw the look on his face when he was told that you hadn't come to work. He's miserable Em. Tell me what happened?"

Emily felt her heart beat faster at the thought of Matt being miserable. She felt guilty for making him feel that way, but also couldn't help feeling a little hope. It must mean he really cared about her.

…"We slept together last night", she said almost whispering,"and this morning I panicked. I left before Matt woke up. I think I was in some other world going to that hotel with him. Letting my guard down so much. It's not how I do these things, and I have been so furious with myself all day.

Lia couldn't help smile at Emily's way of thinking. It was so typical of her. For once letting her heart lead instead of her head, but then regretting it afterwards.

…"Emily, you have to talk to Matt", Lia tried to convince Emily.

…"I know, but I can't just now, I need some time to think everything through", Emily responded.

…"NO!", Lia was getting frustrated now, "Emily, that's what got you in to this mess. You think too much. What's the worst that could happen?"

…"First of all, I could loose my job, Matt too, and if that wasn't reason enough, I …I could…" Emily couldn't get the words out.

…"I know", Lia said softly, " you could get your heart broken. But Emily, you can't go through life without taking any chances. Especially with love, it's all about taking chances and just hoping it'll work out in the end.

…"I don't know", Emily said, but her voice gave her away, she did begin to wonder if she was being too careful.

…"Don't you think Matt is worth the risk?", Lia asked.

Emily didn't answer. She was so confused she didn't know if he was. If Matt was worth the heartache.


	7. Chapter 7

**:( Oh well, only one more review (thanks for that one though ;))**

**Here's the next chapter anyway.**

More than friends? – chapter 7:

Across town at CNU Matt was also contemplating the events of the last couple of days. Sitting in the office surrounded by busy people rushing by, he was far far away in his own thoughts. Outside car horns were more than excessively used by impatient commuters. The afternoon went by unnoticed by Matt.

"Why hadn't Emily shown up for work today?" He asked himself. "The mind of a woman, was a mystery"

After waking up to find her gone at the hotel the same morning, he had hurried back to his own place for a quick shower before going to work. Arriving at the CNU building he had taken one look at the queue in front of the elevators before opting for the stairs, anxious to talk to Emily.

…"She better be worth it", He said out loud to himself, when he started to struggle to climb the last set of steps.

Face red and out of breath he had tried to calm himself before walking into the office, only to find that Emily wasn't there.

He had been forced to push all thoughts of Emily aside, when a call came in about a bus being hijacked in down town LA. A former bus driver in his mid fifties had taken a bus, full of passengers, hostage because he had been fired due to his age. He had been a loyal employee at one of LA's largest bus companies for more than 20 years, now feeling betrayed and wrongfully fired. Rush hour at its worst, the bus had been crowded with people going to work and kids heading for school. The team had immediately realised the gravity of the situation.

In the end they had managed to convince the HT to stand down. A father and grandfather himself, he had admitted not wanting to hurt anyone and acknowledged the fact that these people were not to blame for his misfortune.

Getting out of his chair Matt stretched to rid himself of the uncomfortable position he had remained in far too long, lost in his thoughts. There was no point in going over something he just didn't understand. He would talk to Emily the next day and try to sort out this mess.

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However, half way through the following day, Matt realised his plan might not be as easy to follow through as he had hoped. Cheryl got the team together for a meeting to discuss yesterdays hostage situation and keep everyone up to speed about what needed to be done now. Even though there had been no hostage calls yet, they still had lots of things to keep them busy.

Going through their files together, finishing off reports, Matt and Emily went on with their work as usual. One again Emily's behaviour left Matt puzzled. She had greeted him with a polite smile, seemingly cheerful and acting nothing out of the ordinary. Not that he had expected her to fly into his arms right then and there. The one thing they had agreed on and, well, the only thing they had actually talked about the night at the hotel, had been that no one at the office could know about their encounter. He would though have liked some kind of reaction from her. A quick touch when no one was looking, the look she used to send him to encourage him at negotiations that could make his heart melt or just a tiny reassuring smile just for him.

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Emily had been dreading going back to work. The day off yesterday had definitely calmed her down a little, but there were still so many things she had to figure out. Being around Matt all day would in no way make it easier. Despite her worries, she couldn't help feel his quick glances in her direction when he thought she wasn't looking. His questioning eyes looking for some kind of answer made her heart ache.

She decided that the only way she was going to get through the day and the next days, was to ignore and deny. Ignore the way Matt made her feel and deny everything that had happened between them. At least until she knew more about how she felt about all this.

To Emily's own amazement she actually succeeded with this charade for a few days. Not that Matt didn't try to talk to her, but he just never managed to get her alone. Seeing him in the corridor, she had turned the other way. After meetings or whenever the team went their separate ways she had walked out talking to Lia, not wanting to end up alone with Matt. The two girls had also taken lunch together. Lia wasn't happy helping Emily delaying the inevitable, but the loyal friend she was, Lia had agreed to let it go.

It was Friday afternoon and she was looking forward to a stress free weekend to herself. She wasn't on call this weekend and she was really looking forward to pampering herself, already planning a home made spa treatment, relaxing with a good book and treating herself to a nice dinner at home. She had found out that a superb restaurant near her apartment also did take away and was already going over the menu in her mind.

She said goodbye to her colleagues, wished everyone a nice weekend and walked out of the office. Going down to the ground floor in the elevators she let herself loosen up slightly, relieved to be on her way home.

She was getting quite good at this game, Emily caught herself thinking with a satisfied smile. Then she reminded herself that there was nothing funny about the situation she had put herself in. Most of all it wasn't really fair to Matt. She had watched him going through several stages of despair, from disbelief to anger and frustration. She hated being so unreasonable, she did realise how awful she had been to him beginning with the morning at the hotel and then her cold behaviour ever since.

Walking towards her car in the CNU car park, she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, realising she had been too quick to relax. Standing beside her car was Matt with his arms crossed in front of his chest, a stern look on his face.

Looking down she went to open the door. As she fumbled with the car keys Matt walked slowly towards her. He didn't say anything, didn't try to touch her. He just came up right next to her, then leaned his back against the car.

Emily gave up trying to unlock the car. Her hands were shaking violently rattling the bundle of keys. She could feel his presence, even without looking. The silence between them was unbearable.

Finally Matt spoke.

…"I just want to talk" He said ever so softly relaxing his tense posture. "I've tried all week to figure out why you wouldn't talk to me, please just give me a chance to understand"

Emily felt herself stiffen. He didn't understand? He might not know all her worries, but how could he at least not understand what a big deal this was to her? That she couldn't just let her heart out because he wanted to talk.

Regaining her composure Emily managed to get in the car and start the engine. Driving off she saw the stunned look on Matt's face. Once again she had chickened out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter, I hope you like it.**

**PLEASE review! My confidence is getting lower and lower, with so few reviews :(**

More than friends? - chapter 8

Driving off Emily decided on a detour before going home. If she went home it would be too easy once again to fall into the self pitying state which she hated herself for, but had nevertheless dwelled in far too many times lately. She had always considered herself a strong person. At school, both as a young girl and at university, she had had to rely on her wits to acquire the respect and acceptance she sought after. Being a bit of an ugly duckling back then, she didn't have the advantage of the beautiful, popular girls. Not that she had wanted herself in that category, it might just have been a little easier if she hadn't been stuck with the "nerdy" reputation she acquired early on in life. It had been hard, but it had toughened her and made her capable of standing up for herself, a skill she had found came in handy years after with "the boys" at the FBI Academy.

Matt Flanery had somehow managed to break down her walls leaving her feeling unprotected, her shield shed from her body. Her tough appearance gone in a matter of seconds.

Wanting to regain some mental strength, she headed for the beach. The never ending paths along the California beaches were perfect for what she had in mind. She needed some fresh air and a run.

Running had always made her feel better, seemed to be the perfect way to let out steam. It didn't take long before she felt the effect, her pulse slightly elevated but steady in a comforting way. Sounds of people splashing in the waves or laughing with eachother playing beach volley, were blocked out. All she heard was the monotone thud of her sneakers hitting the payment one after the other. She could run for miles, feeling the wind in her face, her eyes focused on the pavement in front of her.

The weather was just perfect for outdoor activities, the sun shining but now and then held back a little by the fluffy white cotton clouds in the sky. After finishing her run she decided to sit on a bench for a while to cool down.

Nearby a group of children were playing on the beach. It appeared to be a birthday party for a young girl, most of the kids looked to be about 8 or 9 years old. A picnic was set up with birthday cakes, sweets and lemonade. Balloons in all shapes and forms had been tied to big baskets containing the most colourful flowers. It was such a serene site. The children all laughing and running around perfectly happy.

It reminded Emily of her own childhood, back when her days had been spent playing with her friends in the backyard, not a black cloud in sight. She had been a typical young girl without a care in the world. Just happy to be.

Coming back from her daydream Emily decided to end her afternoon outing.

…"You're not a kid anymore. Better face reality" She thought to herself.

The stress of the past week had exhausted her mentally but the run had managed to wear out her body completely too. All she needed now was a quick dinner and she would be out like a child.

---------------

Watching Emily drive off, Matt felt gutted. What did she want from him? He couldn't help notice how her body had tensed when he had asked her to give him a chance to understand. It was as if she had expected him to read her mind. But he didn't understand. He wanted to, he wanted so badly to take away all her fears, brush the scared look off her face and tell her he was there for her, now and always.

He couldn't let her drive off like this, he wanted to end this game of cat and mouse and so he got into his own car and followed.

To his surprise there was no sight of her car outside her apartment block. There was also no answer when he rung the doorbell. Disheartened he started walking back to his car, ready to give up. But then anger took a hold of him one more. He wasn't going to let her get away this easily. Emily had to talk to him at some point, or really she didn't, she could go on ignoring him forever, but he didn't even want to consider that an option.

He sat down on the cold steps in front of the main entrance to the apartments. It was very uncomfortable and the afternoon air was getting chilly, but he was determined to get a hold of Emily when she would eventually return. He just hoped she would be back soon.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there when he suddenly looked up and saw her standing about 20 feet from him, having stopped on her way to the door. A mixture of emotions ran across her face, first of all the surprise of seeing him there, then her jaw tightened giving her an annoyed expression.

Walking past him eyes fixed on the door, she tried to escape once again. Matt quickly got on his feet and blocked her way with his back against the door.

…"I don't think so, Emily" He said sternly, "Unless you want a scene out here in front of your neighbours, I think you better let me come in."

Without a word, Emily just nodded agreeing. Once inside her apartment she went round the room turning on some lamps, moving some magazines from one table to another trying to busy herself. The next moment she felt Matt pull her into his arms.

Matt embraced her like he had wanted to every time he had seen the troubled look in her eyes this last week. He held her tight not wanting to let go, just savouring the feel of her against him. Then he felt her push away and all hell broke loose. Emily was pounding at his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. She was shouting at him, but it was impossible to make out the words. Matt grabbed her shoulders, holding her at arms length keeping the blows from hitting him. While she was still fighting against his restraining hold, she managed to calm her voice enough for Matt to understand her.

…"I can't do this, Matt. It's too much. Please. Please let me go" – she was pleading in between sobs, tears flowing down her cheaks. "I don't want this, Matt. I don't want you"

Matt pulled away like he had been stung. He couldn't believe what she was saying, he didn't want to believe. It felt like his heart had been torn out of his chest. He turned around and walked out.


	9. Chapter 9

More than friends? – chapter 9

For several weeks Emily walked around in a daze. She was almost lost to the world.

Matt and she were civil to eachother, they did their job, but it was nothing like before. No friendly teasing, no laughing at the other's bad jokes or pats on the back after a successful negotiation. Emily rarely went to Sloan's anymore and if she did she only talked to Lia.

She had been happy before everything with Matt had happened, maybe not deliriously happy, but content. She just wanted to get that feeling back, but something inside her held back.

It was another one of those endless days where nothing had gone right and she just wanted to disappear.

Walking along the corridor Emily tried to imagine herself far away on an exotic beach, when she suddenly heard voices coming from around the corner ahead. At first she could hardly hear them, but as she stopped for a moment to concentrate on listening she could hear that it was two people arguing.

She was surprised to find other people still at the office…

It had been a hard day and Cheryl had told everyone to go home early. Her exact words had actually been "It seems the HT's of Los Angeles are taking a break, so we might as well – get out of here people" She had been waving her arms as if to rush everyone out the door, laughing and shaking her head. The team had all paused for a second, hesitating. It certainly wasn't every day Cheryl let them get off in the middle of the afternoon. Realising their sudden freedom, everyone packed up as quick as they could and stormed out to enjoy the rest of the day in the sun. After a week of gloomy grey weather it had finally cleared up, sun shining and a gentle breeze coming from the ocean.

About 45 minutes later Emily, stood listening in the corridor with her back to the wall. She hadn't felt like going home and had decided to stay and get a head start grading some essays from her crisis negotiation trainees. Now she regretted not getting out of there when she had had the chance. The last thing she needed was to be stuck in the middle of some silly argument between these people. She was just about to turn around to walk back in the direction she had come from, when she noticed the voices getting higher and higher, the two people obviously disagreeing profoundly about something. Suddenly she could hear everything loud and clear. Not only did she now recognise the voices but she understood what the argument was about. Matt and Frank were yelling at eachother about her.

…"Christ, Flannery. You must be blind if you haven't noticed all the screw ups Lehman have been doing lately", Frank shouted at the top of his lungs. His face was bright red looking like it was about to explode.

..:"Look who's talking", Matt shot back sarcastically, "If I remember correctly, YOU were the one who messed up today. You were the one missing your target, leaving the HT standing, perfectly unharmed able to shoot 5 hostages."

…"The only reason I had to take that shot, even though it was risky as hell, was because of your incompetent partner pissing the HT off, so he cut off all contact.", Frank said, the angry words coming through his clenched teeth. "What the hell has gotten into her? She's been a nervous wreck, distracted, moody and sour as hell. Jeez, that woman needs to get laid."

Completely loosing his temper Matt flung at Frank pinning him to the wall. The sudden lash out had caught Frank completely off guard, allowing Matt to succeed despite the fact that Frank was both taller and heavier and could have resisted under any other circumstance.

…"Don't you EVER talk about Emily like that again!" Matt screamed in a rage over Frank's words, "Emily Lehman is 100 times the agent you are. She outwits you in a second, she has more knowledge about people and relations than you could ever scrape together. Contrary to you she doesn't use a gun to get away from her problems."

Shocked by the furious look on Matt's face, Frank froze for a second. Then he shook Matt off and walked away shaking his head.

A distraught Matt punched his fist into the wall in frustration letting out a cry of pain. Then he let out a heavyhearted sigh and walked off.

Emily finally allowed herself to breathe again. She couldn't quite grasp what she had just heard. Frank calling her a screw up had made her body cringe in the moment, but none of his accusations were on her mind as she stood there in the corridor of CNU. All she could think about was how Matt had stood up for her. How he had been fighting with Frank, one of his best friends and someone he usually respected and admired greatly, to defend her honour. "Oh what a fool I've been", Emily thought to herself leaning against the wall for support. Here was a guy who would do anything for her, put up with all of her paranoid feelings, conflicting moods and erratic behaviour. But all she had done was push him away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad you like it.**

**I really hope you like this one too, I am happy with how it turned out, it's kind of special to me, so please, please review ;)**

More than friends? – chapter 10

…"Knock on the door! Just knock. Lift your hand and tap the door to make a sound. It's hardly rocket science you know. You came all the way down here, defied rush hour and nearly ran down an old lady pedestrian in a distracted moment. Are you really going to bail out now?"

Pacing back and forth in front of Matt's door, Emily was trying to find the courage to let Matt know she was there. She had been so confident and assured she was finally doing the right thing. But now she hesitated, the previous braveness gone and replaced by a knot in her stomach. What if Matt wouldn't forgive her? What if it was too late? Had she blown her chance with him?

…"It's now or never" She thought and knocked on the door before she could chicken out again.

Nothing happened. She waited a couple of minutes before knocking again, this time a little harder.

…"Please be there, Matt." She whispered to herself.

Several more minutes went by and she was just about to leave when the door opened, revealing the man she had so hoped to see.

…"Emily?" The confused look on Matt's face matched the tone in his voice when he said her name.

All of a sudden Emily found herself speechless. She had been practicing this speech ever since deciding to talk to Matt, she had all the words ready knowing exactly what needed to be said. The words just didn't seem adequate as she stood there outside Matt's house.

…"Ummm, I…I just…well…I.." She couldn't believe she was mumbling like that. Being a negotiator, she should at least be able to say one coherent sentence. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself and tried again.

…"Can we talk?" She finally managed to ask. She had been looking everywhere but at Matt until then but now slowly found his eyes trying to guess what he was feeling.

…"No…" The single word coming from Matt's mouth hit her with such a force she stumbled backwards.

It didn't sound particularly harsh, just a simple statement, he didn't shut the door in her face, but the hurtful look in Matt's eyes was more than she could take. She spun around just as her eyes watered over and tears began streaming down her face.

…"I know I deserved that" she thought, "I don't deserve anything more from him after the grief I've put him through."

…"Emily! Emily stop!" A voice shouted at her.

She stopped walking but didn't turn around. She stayed still not quite trusting her own ears.

…"Was that…? It couldn't be. I must be imagining it. Just because I wish I had heard those words, doesn't mean they were actually said" She shook her head thinking she must be going mad and walked on.

She had only taken a few more steps when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She stopped and turned around finding herself only inches from Matt. She let out a gasp in surprise. He was standing so close to her she could feel the warmth of his body and smell his cologne. She new that smell so well by now. It was the only one he wore and it always comforted her, letting her know he was nearby.

Matt's hand left her shoulder, leaving behind an empty feeling on her skin. He turned around and started walking back to his house, saying:

…"Follow me."

She followed him into the house in silence. Looking around she noticed what a nice place Matt had here. It was well kept and clean. The furniture looked quite old, but made the rooms cosy and made the house feel "lived in". She couldn't help smile at all the gadgets and electrical equipment he had. A monster of a widescreen was taking up most of the space on one wall in the living room, flanked by two huge speakers. In another corner of the room she saw an antique looking pin ball machine.

…"Would you like anything to drink?" Matt asked.

Emily hadn't heard him come up behind her and jumped at the sound of his voice.

…"A glass of water, please" She replied when she had regained her composure.

When Matt returned from the kitchen with their drinks they both sat down in the living room. Emily took a seat on the couch opposite from Matt who chose a big armchair. They sat in silence for a while, Emily was holding her glass to keep her hands from fidgeting.

…"Matt. I don't expect you to forgive me. My actions these last weeks have been more than unforgivable. I was so scared I just kept running from everything, running from you." She was surprised at how calm her voice sounded. But she realised that she owed Matt an explanation and she owed it to herself to keep her cool. She was looking down at her hands as she continued, knowing she would loose her nerve if she let herself look into Matt's eyes.

…"I have never been good with relationships. Truth be told I haven't had that many. The few men I've been close to ended up leaving me when things got too complicated. I have been on a few dates, but I guess I knew from the beginning that those dates weren't going anywhere, so there was no point in feeling scared then. My feelings weren't involved." There was much more that needed to be said, but she couldn't wait anymore to find out how Matt was reacting to her confessions.

The look on Matt's face almost broke her heart. She had never seen him in this much pain. Matt, the boyish, strong, confident guy, who always joked around with big grin was sitting in front of her now diminished because of her.

…"I missed you that morning" Matt spoke, the words barely more than a whisper. He was now looking directly at her. His eyes, wet with tears were piercing into hers, putting force behind the words.

…"I know" She said back avoiding his eyes again. "I shouldn't have left you there. I was ashamed with myself and I panicked."

…"Ashamed? Why would you be ashamed with yourself? Emily, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Matt sounded confused, but his voice was stronger now, trying to convince Emily of how wrong her words were.

…"It was just so unlike me. I have never done anything like it before. I never sleep with men on first dates" Emily's voice was full of self loathing. She couldn't help herself anymore and a small sob escaped her, then followed by another until her whole body was shaking, tears streaming from her eyes. She hid her face in her hands, not wanting to let Matt see her fall apart.

Then she felt Matt sit down next to her. The knowledge of him being right beside her only made her sobbing worse.

…"Emily. Oh sweet Emily. Listen to me…" Matt was pleading with her, trying to get through to her between the sobs.

Emily didn't respond, but she felt his arms around her when next he pulled her close to him.

Matt was leaning back on the couch bringing her with him so her head was resting on his chest. He quietly rocked her in his arms like a child, trying to comfort her in the only way he could at that moment. Slowly he felt her crying subside, a few more minutes and it was only a quiver on her breath.

Emily felt herself relax slightly in Matt's arms. She loved the way he was holding her tight. She just wanted to lose herself in the feel of him. But still, she was afraid to look at him, afraid she would still see the hurt from before or worse see the disgust she felt with herself mirrored in his eyes. So she kept her face hidden in her hands as she had the whole time.

…"Emily?" Matt said softly. "Emily, look at me"

When she didn't move he gently pried her fingers away from her eyes with his right hand. His left arm was still around her against the back of the couch.

Emily slowly looked up at Matt, relieved to find a reassuring look in his eyes. How could he be so nice to her after all she had done to hurt him? She felt guilty again and looked down.

But Matt lightly put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up. He wanted her to hear him out and wanted her to look at him while he spoke. He couldn't believe the feelings he was having for this woman. Even with red puffy eyes she had never looked more beautiful. Her eyes deep blue as the ocean. Her flaming auburn hair was clinging to her tear wet cheeks.

…"Emily. I know it wasn't something you'd usually do. That's why it meant so much to me. Because you trusted me enough to let your heart lead instead of your mind for once. You have nothing to feel ashamed about. Don't ever feel guilty for letting yourself go with the moment. I admire you so much, you could never disappoint me. If you give me a chance I'll try never to disappoint you either.

A single tear fell from the corner of her eye. Emily had never heard anything more sincere in her life.

Matt cupped his hands around Emily's face, gently wiping away the fresh tear. He didn't want to wait another second to feel her lips on his and leaned towards her. At first he just brushed ever so softly against her. Then he kissed her once and once again. The sensation of her lush lips brought fire to his body. He kissed her harder next. Both of them relishing the moment.

Emily thought her veins would rupture with the pressure of the blood rushing through. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she would faint. She let her tongue slide against Matt's lips asking for entrance. He immediately rewarded her letting his own tongue wander. The pent up tension was now transformed into passionate kisses. Emily wrapped her arms around Matt's neck pulling him closer. His fingers were running though her hair, then sliding down her back.

After what seemed like an eternity they had to come up for air, both of them left breathless by the deepening kisses. They looked into eachothers eyes and saw raw, vulnerable emotions displayed. Finally allowing them selves to fall.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for taking so long to post this. I have a bit of a writers block (not when I wrote this obvisously, but I wrote it a while back)**

**I started another Standoff story before the block too, I will post it asap. It is a post "No Strings" fic.**

**I really hope you like this one, it took me ages to write ;) **

**Please review, means the world to me - maybe your reviews can jolt me out of this writers block.**

**NOTE: Rating change, this chapter is probably "M"**

More than friends? – chapter 11

They were sprawled out on Matt's couch. There wasn't nearly enough space for both of them, but they didn't even notice, just clung to eachother to prevent themselves from falling to the floor.

Matt poured kisses over Emily's flushed, tear stricken cheeks. The salty taste and the warm sensation on his lips were bittersweet. He hated that she had been so unhappy, but he was grateful that she had come to him, grateful that she was now here with him on his couch in his arms.

He couldn't get enough of this woman next to him. Emily. Matt's hands were roaming her body, wanting to explore every hidden part of it. At first his hands were in her hair, her wavy auburn locks running through his fingers as he pulled her head closer, pressing his mouth against hers.

This mouth was his new favourite thing. Her lips were neither too lush nor too narrow, they were just perfect. He didn't quite know how to describe the colour, maybe because he wasn't really looking at them at that moment. He was much too busy tasting them, running his tongue along them, memorizing how they felt.

Emily kissed him back with the same force she felt from Matt. This kiss was different from any other they had shared. It was quite impetuous. The tension from the last weeks wanting to be freed. Their yearning for one another and all of their pent up feelings were expressed in this kiss so passionate it left them both breathless.

Emily's arms were around Matt's waist. She was clinging to him, wanting to feel him against her own body. Suddenly she felt Matt's hands slide down her back, gently massaging her and drawing circles on her shoulder blades, then going further down to her lower back. When he lifted her shirt slightly and touched her bare skin she felt shivers run through her body and a weak moan escaped her lips.

She had to feel him too and tried to rip his shirt off to get access to his firm upper body. When the fabric wouldn't give in, tightly tugged in his jeans she pulled her mouth from his to look into his eyes.

At first Matt was surprised she had pulled away, feeling like something was suddenly missing he tried to pull her back, not wanting this kiss to end any time soon. When she put her hand over his mouth and looked into his eyes pleading, he noticed her impatient attempts to take off his shirt.

…"Do you need some help, Princess?", he asked teasing her, enjoying his newly gained power over her. He couldn't stop himself from chuckling at the desperate look on her face. It was so cute. He knew that she had a hard time asking for help, and even though he wanted nothing more than to feel her naked skin against him, he was taking this moment to annoy her a little.

The fist in his chest surprised him though, and his smirk changed into stunned disbelief.

…"That's what you get for teasing me" Emily exclaimed, grinning herself now.

Having had enough of this banter, though enjoyable, Matt lifted himself a few inches from the couch and pulled off his shirt in record time, throwing it to the other side of the room. The previous problem out of the way he quickly found Emily's lips again and commenced another mind blowing kiss.

Now free from his own shirt, he wasn't quite satisfied with the small patch of bare skin he had gained from pulling up Emily's shirt. Realising this might be just as difficult as getting his own off while entangled on the couch, he put his arms around Emily and pulled them both up to a sitting position. Their lips never losing contact, he managed to unbutton and slide off her shirt before continuing with the bra clasp behind her back. The silky lace bra was slit off her shoulders revealing her flawless round breasts.

Only the need for air made Matt pull back from the kiss, but this gave him the chance to admire Emily for a moment. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, they wandered from the tanned skin of her flat stomach, up to the curves of her breasts and the perked nipples, that told him just what he wanted to hear.

…"Emily, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. Beautiful doesn't even come close. You're beyond beautiful, beyond perfect" As he said this he looked into the eyes of the woman he was describing. He noticed how her cheeks turned red as she blushed at the compliments.

He leaned forward and ever so gently brushed his lips against hers, trying to convince her of what he had just said.

Emily was speechless, no man had ever complimented her like that before. And if they had tried to, she would have brushed it off as an attempt to get her to sleep with them. At this moment she didn't feel awkward, she didn't feel like the words were said to accomplish anything. She trusted Matt and knew the words had been a simple statement of his feelings. She knew that from the kiss that followed, a kiss so sweet she thought she was going to faint.

Lost in her thoughts of compliments and breathtaking kisses, she felt Matt take her in his arms and stand up. He was looking down at her with a question in his eyes and she immediately nodded and then rested her head against his chest.

How come she had all of a sudden let totally go of her pride? Let go of her former beliefs that she could do anything herself, never needing anyone else? She let Matt carry her, when she could perfectly well walk on her own. Well, truth be told she didn't actually trust her legs to uphold her weight at that moment. Maybe it was ok to accept a helping hand once in a while?, especially from someone like Matt, who quite enjoyed playing the strong saviour. Also, it did give her a perfect view of his muscular chest and arms as he held on to her. She decided then, that for once she would let herself need someone. She didn't have a choice, she needed Matt.

When they reached Matt's bedroom he gently lay her down on the bed. He stood there for a second just watching her. Once more he was mesmerized by this woman. How had he ended up so lucky? What did he do to deserve to have someone like Emily lying in front of him on his bed?

She was looking back at him and he noticed a brief shyness in her expression. He had an idea of what she was thinking. Even though this wouldn't be their first time together, their situation was so different from back then. They had been through the whole range of emotions, from lust to regret, confusion to anger and hurt before finally finding eachother again. It had been some rollercoaster ride, but as Matt thought back on the previous weeks he knew that it was a path they had needed to take to get to the place they were now. It hadn't been pretty, but he didn't have any regrets. He would have liked a little less hurt, but he knew the turmoil had been worth it. Being there with Emily told him exactly how much it had been worth it.

Matt sat down on the bed beside her. Her arms lay loosely against her sides. Her chest was rising heavily up and down showing her rapid breathing and Matt noticed her hands trembling in anticipation. He wasn't going to rush though, he wanted to cherish every inch of her, memorizing her body in his mind. When she reached up for him, he gently but firmly pushed her arms back down.

…"Be patient, please", he said, his voice husky with emotion. "I know you don't like to lose control of a situation, any situation..." he continued with a smirky grin. "…but please let me do this"

He ended his words leaning down to her kissing her softly. Emily's eyes told him just how much she wanted to take action herself, but then she sighed and gave him a reassuring smile.

Matt started placing kisses along her jaw line and her neck before teasingly taking her earlobe between his teeth gently sucking it. He was nestled between her ear, her shoulder and her hair. It smelled so good, her hair. A fresh smell of lavender shampoo mixed with the smell of Emily herself.

He felt Emily twisting slightly beneath him and decided to hurry just a little. He couldn't really wait much longer himself either. Turning his attention to Emily's collarbone, he shifted his body downwards. He kissed every inch of skin around her right collarbone and then ran his tongue along it.

Emily was going out of her mind. Oh, how good this felt. On one hand, she never wanted it to end, on the other she couldn't wait for Matt to hurry up, having high expectations for what would come next. As she felt Matt's tongue move from her collarbone towards her right breast, she couldn't help let out a moan of pleasure.

She thought her heart would jump out of her chest, it was beating that fast and her mouth and lips were dry as the dessert. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back giving Matt complete access. He was alternating between kissing and licking circles, going from the top of her perked breasts, down her cleavage and underneath, round her breast once more. For every turn he came closer and closer to her nipple. It was hard and aching for him to touch it, but just as he was almost next to it, he stopped and started over with her left breast.

Emily let out a cry in anguish, once again trying to raise her hands, wanting to guide his mouth where she needed it so bad. But once again her hands were stopped by Matt and this time he held her wrists down above her head, to keep her from further disruptions.

This man was driving her crazy. She thought about what she would do to get back at him, but her mind was unable to focus on anything but Matt's actions.

Emily arched her back trying to do whatever she could to urge Matt on. Matt was still sitting next to her with just his upper body leaning towards her. She wanted much more contact, but it seemed Matt had managed to turn her body into jelly, leaving her utterly unable to do anything about the situation. She didn't actually want anything to be much different, she just wanted Matt to hurry up!

…"Matt…Matt" Emily whined almost inaudible. "Matt, please, get on with…."

She never got to finish her sentence as Matt cut her off by taking her left nipple in his mouth. He was suddenly much more aggressive in his movements, biting softly, sucking and licking, making the nipple respond immediately. He turned back to the other nipple, giving it as much attention.

Matt had heard Emily pleading and decided to put her out of her misery. The whole "taking it slow" plan wasn't really working for him either. He wanted to feel her body against his, he wanted to touch her with his hands as well as his tongue.

To be able to do that though he would have to let go of Emily's wrists. The moment he let go he felt her hands at the back of his neck, her fingers entangled in his hair.

He felt himself being pulled towards her and then their lips touched in a kiss full of wanting. Their tongues stroked eachother franticly, the kiss deepened into a kiss so powerful it took his breath away. This woman certainly knew how to kiss! He had never experienced anything like it.

The lack of air almost made him faint. He pulled back slightly and took a deep breath looking into the eyes of the woman beneath him. Emily looked back at him, panting for air. She had never looked more beautiful.

Suddenly he felt Emily push him to the side onto his back as she sat kneeling with a leg on each side of him. It had taken him totally by surprise, but he played along, wanting to know what Emily had in mind. Had he known, he might not have surrendered so easily.

Emily leaned forward kissing a trail from the top of Matt's chest down towards the lining of his jeans. She gently licked a circle round his bellybutton as she went over it. Her hands were not far behind, stroking the well-formed muscles of Matt's stomach. She slid her hands behind him, grabbing his buttock in each hand as she placed kisses on the opposite side, where a distinct bulge had appeared.

…" Jeez, Emily, You're killing me" Matt groaned.

…"You get as good as you give, Flannery", Emily answered back with a cheeky grin. She wasn't even getting started yet.

She began opening the zipper of Matt's jeans, and couldn't help laugh out loud when a pair of Winnie The Pooh boxers came into sight. She tried to hold back some of the laughter, when she noticed the horrified look in Matt's eyes. She bet he wouldn't have chosen those boxers if he had known he'd be getting company.

…"Winnie The Pooh, Matt?" She said, asking ask much as making a statement.

…"Ehhh, well…They're REALLY comfortable, Em" Matt answered slightly embarrassed.

…"I think they're cute" Emily said ending all talking by bending down kissing him through the silky fabric of the Winnie The Pooh boxers.

She tugged at his jeans to pull them down and Matt lifted his hips to help her. Not long after, his boxers followed the jeans, landing somewhere on the floor. Emily paused for a moment, admiring Matt's extremely well built body.

She took his hands and pulled him up to a sitting position, while she herself was standing beside the bed.

…"Want to give me a hand?" She asked him, referring to her own jeans.

Matt noticed the deep tone of her voice, it sounded sexy as hell. There was nothing he'd like more than to get her out of those jeans, sooner rather than later. He unzipped them, and took hold of the fabric at the outsides of her thighs, pulling the jeans down in one swift movement. The effective way of undressing her made Emily giggle and Matt wondered how it was possible that every sound this woman made, sounded like music in his ears.

Freeing her of every last bit of clothing, Matt grabbed Emily pulling them both down on the bed. The feel of her naked body against him was exhilarating. They tumbled around in bed, clinging to eachother, hot and sweaty, both wanting the other still closer. Their legs were entangled, Matt felt Emily's feet rubbing up and down his calves. His hands wandered from her hair, down her back stroking gently then circled to her front, taking a breast in each hand, squeezing gently and stroking her nipples with his thumbs.

Emily was so aroused by Matt's hands on her body and her breasts she thought she would scream. Using the last bit of self control she had left, she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down on his back. She hadn't been finished pleasuring, or had it been torturing?, him earlier and her expression, with lightly raised eyebrows let Matt know exactly that. This time though, she let him continue touching her. There was no way she would force those amazing powerful hands off of her body.

She was lying on top of him, their bodies touching from head to toe. They fit perfectly together. Emily was kissing Matt's neck, then biting gently and licking circles just under his jaw, making him shiver. Meanwhile her hips were grinding on top of his making them both crazy with desire.

Emily could feel him underneath her, could feel how much he wanted her and she wanted him just as much. Only a little while longer, she thought, as she slid downwards. Her kissing and nibbling continuing, but now along his right thigh, slowly going upwards, then she did the same with the left.

She continued this way for a while, sometimes going back down Matt's thighs other times continuing up, past without actually touching the intended destination, which was now hard and ready. She was playing with him, teasing him the best she knew.

Matt was squirming underneath her, his breathing was almost out of control and Emily noticed his hands clasping the sheets in desperation. Then she couldn't stand it any more her self.

She slid back up and positioned herself on top of him again, supporting herself on her elbows. She kissed him once more, this time a hungry kiss, a kiss starving for a desire to be fulfilled.

…"Your turn, Matt" She said in a low growl, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes. The look he gave her, made her heart skip a beat. It was of course a look of total and utter desire, but she could also see respect and admiration mirrored in those gorgeous eyes.

Matt didn't think he could last much longer, he wanted her so much, wanted to be with her in the ultimate way two lovers could be together, and he never wanted to apart from her again, never wanted to let her go.

He quickly turned Emily on her back. He was almost leaning completely on her, had only one knee and one elbow resting on the bed to keep from squashing her. At first he circled his hips against her while cupping her face with his hands and kissing her swollen lips. Then he shifted himself slightly to one side and reached one hand down to her centre. He gently rubbed and stroked her, feeling her warmth against his hand. When his fingers reached into her wetness, it caused Emily to let out a moan of pleasure.

…"Matt, I want you now, I want you inside me" Emily whispered in Matt's ear.

Matt leaned over her, and the next moment Emily felt his fingers retract to be replaced. Her pulse was racing like mad as she felt the tip of him touch her soft centre. He rubbed against her for a moment, before finally pushing into her. He gently filled her, pushing all the way back, touching every sensitive spot inside her. As Emily clung to him, his pace accelerated and she matched his rhythm with her hips and with her hands holding onto his lower back.

She was thinking that this must be heaven, she must have died and gone to heaven. She had never made love to anyone like this before.

Just as they were both on the brink of orgasm, she heard Matt's voice and looked up.

…"Emily, look at me, I want to look into your eyes as we share this" His voice was so soft and sincere she felt a tear slide down her cheek.

Matt leaned down one last time to place a soft peck on her lips before letting go.

He thrust into her harder and harder as Emily went with him arching her back, pushing her hips upwards to help him push even further into her.

When she felt him finally loose control, coming inside her, she came too, her body quivered, heat shot through her in giant waves and as they came together they clung to eachother both trembling with satisfaction and emotion. They gazed into eacothers eyes and both saw promises of something great to come.


End file.
